To the Boy Who Made Me a Mother

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To the Boy Who Made Me a Mother,
I remember growing up and playing with dolls, one of my fondest memories as a child is going to the Lee Middleton Doll factory and picking a baby doll out of the nursery. I was even able to choose his eye and hair color. I chose a boy. I knew one day when I grew up I wanted to be a mom to a boy. In 2008, I met your father–I fell head over heels for him and in 2013 I was able to say I do. What I thought was the best day of my life. It didn’t take long to realize you can have many best days of your life.
On December 16th, I found out I was pregnant with you. We had family over that night and I couldn’t wait to tell your dad the great news. I leaned over the counter when no one was watching and spilled the beans there. The next few weeks were scary, exciting, and crazy. I wanted to make sure you were ok at every second of the day, I finally had an appointment to check on you and it made me realize you were real and this was really happening.
I spent my months waiting filled with nausea, teaching 3rd graders, summer time was filled with floating, and preparing for your birth. Everything needed to be perfect, and perfect is what I tried to make it. The nursery was gorgeous, and everything was ready for your August 27th due date. You decided the world couldn’t wait any longer for you–and you graced us on August 14th, 2014 at 1:21PM.

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August 14th, the day that I became a mother. This was the biggest moment of my life, and I thought I knew all there was to it–you taught me that wasn’t the case. Through the breastfeeding struggles and no sleep at night it was everything I had no idea I wanted (and more). I prayed so much during those first few weeks, that God would show me how to be your mother. Give me wisdom to know how to take care of you. I haven’t stopped praying since.
These last almost 2 and a half years have been a learning process for both of us. I have loved watching you grow, and disliked it all at the same time. I want to remember your newborn smell, the struggles, the good times, all of it. I’m loving watching you grow–your small newborn fingers that could barely grab a toy are now throwing a ball. You run around this house like I never thought you would be able to, it took you forever to just roll over. I love that you love playing with your cars every day, and have your favorites. You always have a smile on your face, and always are giving kisses and loving all over me. I love having conversations with you, and you amaze me everyday.

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Soon we will be a family of four, you will have a baby brother coming any day. I want you to know something sweet boy–you have taught me to be a mother. You have taught me that being a mother is the most wonderful thing to ever happen. One day you will be too big to sit in my lap, hold my hand, and you’ll eventually have a life of your own. But remember my sweet boy, you will always be my first. I will always remember the day I became your mom.

I love you to infinity and beyond,
Your Mother

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