Tuesday, December 6, 2016

To the Boy Who Made Me a Mother


To the Boy Who Made Me a Mother, 

I remember growing up and playing with dolls, one of my fondest memories as a child is going to the Lee Middleton Doll factory and picking a baby doll out of the nursery. I was even able to choose his eye and hair color. I chose a boy. I knew one day when I grew up I wanted to be a mom to a boy. In 2008, I met your father--I fell head over heels for him and in 2013 I was able to say I do. What I thought was the best day of my life. It didn't take long to realize you can have many best days of your life. 

On December 16th, I found out I was pregnant with you. We had family over that night and I couldn't wait to tell your dad the great news. I leaned over the counter when no one was watching and spilled the beans there. The next few weeks were scary, exciting, and crazy. I wanted to make sure you were ok at every second of the day, I finally had an appointment to check on you and it made me realize you were real and this was really happening. 

I spent my months waiting filled with nausea, teaching 3rd graders, summer time was filled with floating, and preparing for your birth. Everything needed to be perfect, and perfect is what I tried to make it. The nursery was gorgeous, and everything was ready for your August 27th due date. You decided the world couldn't wait any longer for you--and you graced us on August 14th, 2014 at 1:21PM. 


August 14th, the day that I became a mother. This was the biggest moment of my life, and I thought I knew all there was to it--you taught me that wasn't the case. Through the breastfeeding struggles and no sleep at night it was everything I had no idea I wanted (and more). I prayed so much during those first few weeks, that God would show me how to be your mother. Give me wisdom to know how to take care of you. I haven't stopped praying since. 

These last almost 2 and a half years have been a learning process for both of us. I have loved watching you grow, and disliked it all at the same time. I want to remember your newborn smell, the struggles, the good times, all of it. I'm loving watching you grow--your small newborn fingers that could barely grab a toy are now throwing a ball. You run around this house like I never thought you would be able to, it took you forever to just roll over. I love that you love playing with your cars every day, and have your favorites. You always have a smile on your face, and always are giving kisses and loving all over me. I love having conversations with you, and you amaze me everyday. 


Soon we will be a family of four, you will have a baby brother coming any day. I want you to know something sweet boy--you have taught me to be a mother. You have taught me that being a mother is the most wonderful thing to ever happen. One day you will be too big to sit in my lap, hold my hand, and you'll eventually have a life of your own. But remember my sweet boy, you will always be my first. I will always remember the day I became your mom. 

I love you to infinity and beyond,

Your Mother 


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